A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

If you love a good laugh, but also don’t mind going to Hell, then dark jokes are for you. They may be full of wickedness and sin, but they can still make you chuckle. So if you’re feeling brave enough to take a risk with some dark humor, here’s the perfect place to start.

Just like Dark Memes, Dark jokes can be hilarious, but they can also be shocking and offensive. So, if you’re not afraid of going to hell, then these dark jokes are perfect for you! Whether it’s a pun or an absurdly morbid joke, these dark jokes will make sure that everyone has a good time – even if it’s in hell!

Dark Jokes

1 – An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

2 – I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

3 – I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

4 – My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

5 – When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

6 – What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

7 – They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

8 – Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

9 – My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

10 – When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

11 – Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

12 – Never break someone’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

13 – “I work with animals,” the guy says to his date. “That’s so sweet,” she replies. “I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says.

14 – Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus. And I lost my job as a bus driver!

15 – Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

16 – I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

17 – What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb COVID jokes? A pundemic.

18 – The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

19 – I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you still holding the ladder?”

20 – The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me.

21 – “Just say NO to drugs!” Well, If I’m talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

22 – I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather,
Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

23 – My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They soon stopped, though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

24 – It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my good friends would still be alive.

25 – You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

26 – Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

27 – If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

28 – I’ll never forget my dad’s last words, “erase my search history, son.”

29 – A teacher asked students to use “beans” in a sentence. A girl said, “my father grows beans.” A boy said, “my mother cooks beans.” said a boy. The third student said, “we are all human beans.”

30 – When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

31 – My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

32 – I bought my blind sister a cheese grater for her birthday. She later told me it was the most violent book she had ever read.

33 – A husband returns from work and finds his wife watching the Food Network. He asks, “Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook,” and the wife responds, “Why do you watch prn? You still can’t fck.”

34 – What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy’s face after he turns 12.

35 – My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

36 – When two vegan parents get into an argument, is it still called beef?

37 – What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.

38 – What do you call a lesbian with long nails? Single.

39 – My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now, he’ll really know what rejection feels like.

40 -Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”

41 – What do peanut butter and strippers have in common? They both spread for bread.

42 – Do you know the one place where “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” don’t mean the same thing? A funeral.

43 – What do you call a duck on drugs? A quack head.

44 – What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile.

45 – What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

46 – Why do hospitals have air conditioning? To keep the vegetables nice and cool.

47 – In prison why is a white man scarier than a black man? Because he did it.

48 – What do you call an orphan taking a selfie? A family photo.

49 – What do you call people that insist on using the “pull out” method? Parents.

50 – What’s the similarity between a pregnant teen and the baby she is carrying?
Both are thinking, “shit, my mom is going to kill me.”

51. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

52. Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

53. Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.

54. My mother said one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
Turns out I’m adopted.

55. Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.

56. Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded?
People are dying to get in.

57. Knock, knock. Who’s there? 9/11. 9/11 who?
You said you’d never forget.

58. I wish the earth was flat, so when people start talking nonsense, I could just push them off.

59. When does a dark joke become a dad joke?
When it goes out for milk and never comes back.

60.`Can fish breakdance?
Sure, but only for half a minute… and only once.

61- Have you heard the one about the school shooting?
Nevermind, it’s aimed at a younger crowd.

62- What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 kids in 1 dumpster
Morbid humor is 1 kid in 10 dumpsters

63- A vampire walks into a bar and asks for hot water, bartender asks “don’t you drink blood?” The vampire pulls out a used tampon saying “I’m making tea”

64- Have you ever heard of a reverse exorcism?
It’s where the demon screams at the priest to get out of the child..

65- How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black

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Welcome to the devilishly funny realm of dark humor jokes! Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride through twisted punchlines and wicked laughter that will have you questioning your morals and gasping for air. These jokes are not for the faint of heart, but if you have a devilish sense of humor, prepare to embark on a one-way ticket to comedic damnation!

Descending into the Abyss of Dark Jokes:
As we descend into the abyss of dark humor jokes, let us first acknowledge the delicate art of finding laughter in the darkest corners of our minds. It takes a special kind of twisted genius to transform taboo topics into hilariously uncomfortable punchlines. From irreverent one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes will push the boundaries of your comfort zone, challenging your preconceived notions of what is deemed socially acceptable.

A Hellish Symphony of Laughter and Controversy:
Dark humor jokes often dance along the fine line between hilarity and offensiveness, causing reactions as diverse as the souls condemned to eternity in the underworld. Some may find themselves clutching their sides, unable to control fits of laughter, while others might gasp in shock or raise an eyebrow at the audacity of the punchlines. The key is to approach these jokes with an open mind, appreciating the irony and absurdity that lies within.

A Devilish Playground for the Fearlessly Funny:
In this devilish playground of humor, nothing is sacred. Be prepared to explore topics that typically elicit gasps, groans, or uncomfortable silence at dinner parties. From Dark jokes about mortality and controversial figures to the darkest corners of human nature, these jokes will challenge your ability to find humor in the macabre. Remember, it’s all in good fun, and laughter can be a powerful tool for coping with the darkness that often surrounds us.

So, if you dare to traverse the treacherous terrain of dark humor, fasten your seatbelt and get ready for a wild ride. These dark humor jokes are a wicked invitation to the realm of irreverent laughter, where social taboos are shattered, and political correctness takes a backseat. Just remember, it’s all in the spirit of comedy, and a little twisted laughter can be the best therapy for navigating the complexities of life. Enjoy the journey, and may your ticket to hell be accompanied by endless laughter!

Dark Humor Jokes

1- The guy who stole my diary just died.
My thoughts are with his family.

2- I once walked in on my grandparents making love — and that’s why I don’t eat raisins.

3- Cats have nine lives.
Makes them ideal for experimentation

4- My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

5- My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it.

6- Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.

7- Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.

8- I thought it was polite to open the door for a woman, but she shouted and bolted from the aircraft.

9- What makes sad people jump?
Bridges.

10- I advised my wife to accept her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.

11- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

12- Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

13- Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

14- My therapist said time heals all wounds.
So I stabbed her.

15- Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs.

16- A child molester and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.

17- Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.

18- An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough

19- Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick.

20- What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!

21- Why did the mailman die?
Because everybody dies.

22- I read a book about an immortal dog.
It was impossible to put down.

23- What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

24- Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person

25- What’s the best part about turning 60?
No more calls from life insurance salesmen.

26- My father used to beat me with his belt — while it was still on him.

27- My grandparents fought during World War II.
They ended up getting a divorce.

28- Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

29- I gave my girlfriend something she didn’t expect for Valentine’s day…
Chlamydia

30- What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”

31- Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 metres of a school?
Because he’s dead

32- Knock knock. orphan: Who is there?
Not your parents

33- When YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook merge, they might be called “YouTwitFace.”

34- Why do adults never understand school shooting jokes?
Guess they’re aimed at a younger audience.

35- Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.

36- What do all suicide bombers have in common?
None of them is willing to die alone.

37- Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it

38- They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.

40- I made a website for orphans.
It doesn’t have a home page.

41- They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.
But I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

42- What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.

43- Why were the orphan’s first phone an iPhone X?
Because there was no home button

44- I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

45- What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

46- What is Africa’s national sport?
The Hunger Games.

47- My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology.
So I unplugged his life support.

48- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

49- Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?”
and it activated the front camera.

50- “I am sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.

51- Dark humor is like food—some people just don’t get it.

52- Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Every time he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

53- How do you turn any salad into a Caesar salad?
Just stab it 23 times.

54- Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
Because they kill people.

55- My grief counselor passed away. He was so great, I’m not even upset.

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Dark humor, the type of humor that often makes you cringe before you laugh, can be a bit polarizing. Some people love it, while others find it tasteless or offensive. But if you’re someone who enjoys a good dark humor jokes, then you’re in luck! We’ve compiled a list of dark humor jokes that are sure to make you burn with laughter (figuratively speaking, of course).

Now, before we dive into the jokes, we want to give a fair warning that these jokes are not for the faint of heart. They touch on topics that some people might find sensitive or triggering. However, if you have a twisted sense of humor and are ready to embrace the darkness, then read on.

With that said, let’s get into the jokes. From dark humor memes to dark puns to morbid one-liners to dark humor jokes, there’s something for everyone on this list.

So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh at dark humor jokes you probably shouldn’t be laughing at.

1- Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.

2- At a first date:
He: “I work with animals every day!”
She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”
He: “I’m a butcher.”

3- What do you give an armless child for Christmas?
Nothing, he wouldn’t be able to open it anyways.

4- Father looks at his teenage son, “James, you’ve been adopted.”
James jumps up, “Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father laughs, “No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your new parents will be here in an hour.”

5- You cant say that hitler was bad through and through.
He did kill hitler afterall

6- If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

7- I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.
I was about to run and tell my wife, when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden…

8- Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people

9- Boy: “Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas, please?”
Mom: “No, you’re getting turkey, like every year!“

10- Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

11- I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

12- My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2
He never talks about it.

13- A box of condoms, please.
That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it?
Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

14- Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

15- My therapist said time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her.

16- Kamikaze pilot instructor:
“OK, listen up, and listen up closely. I don’t want to have to repeat myself to you again tomorrow!”

17- My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade

18- The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight. I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

19- I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

20- I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

21- Why did the man miss the funeral??? He wasn’t a mourning person

22- Patient: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Patient: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”

23- What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don’t matter what you call it. It ain’t coming.

24- If you think I would joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

25- My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

26- My butt hair is so long, it made it to the Guinness Book of Records. Not for long though. They threw me out of the library pretty quickly.

27- ow can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
The blind start reading your face.

28- I was raised as an only child, which I think was hard for my brother

29- There’s an evil rumor going around that I’m a hardcore gambler. I don’t know what bastard is spreading such lies, but I’d bet serious money on it being Mike.

30- It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

31- It really makes me mad when I hear idiots saying that women belong in the kitchen. Such crap. Who would clean the rest of the house?!

32- I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds, though, and only once.

33- Am I beautiful, George?
You’re like the Sun! It’s painful looking at you.

34- My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?

35- My grandparents fought during World War II.
They ended up getting a divorce.

36- Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.

37- Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
There you have it. Proof that punctuation saves lives.

38- Why did two Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white

39- Patient: “Doctor, I just feel so invisible, ignored… Like I didn’t even exist…”
Doctor: “Next!”

40- You know you’re ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.

41- Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

42- Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

43- Shout out to my grandma since that’s the only way she can hear you.

44- Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you.
But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

45- For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

46- Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

47- Life is like a peepee
It’s often hard for no reason

48- Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift.

49- What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

50- My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They soon stopped, though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

51- An apple a day keeps the doctor away… unless you choke on it.

52- What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a dead body?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

53- Where do “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” have different meanings?
At a funeral.

54- How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times.

55- Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a morning person.

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