Dad humor has long been celebrated for its unique blend of corniness, wit, and charm. The quintessential dad joke is the epitome of this comedic style, delivering groans and chuckles in equal measure. In this article, we’ve curated a collection of the 55 best dad jokes that embody the essence of dad humor. From puns to wordplay and everything in between, these jokes are sure to evoke a smile (and perhaps an eye-roll) from even the most stoic of audiences.

The hallmark of the best dad jokes is their ability to elicit laughter through their simplicity and clever wordplay. These jokes often rely on puns, double entendres, and unexpected punchlines to catch listeners off guard. Whether it’s a play on words or a clever twist on a familiar phrase, dad jokes have a way of turning the ordinary into the extraordinary – or at least the amusing.

One of the endearing qualities of best dad jokes is their timeless appeal. Passed down from one generation to the next, these jokes have a way of transcending age and cultural barriers. Whether told around the dinner table, during a road trip, or at a family gathering, dad jokes have a knack for bringing people together through shared laughter. So sit back, relax, and prepare to enjoy a hearty dose of the best dad jokes that are sure to leave you grinning from ear to ear.

1- Singing in the shower is enjoyable until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

2- Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for owning a pure bread dog.

3- Why did the gym shut down?
It just didn’t work out.

4- Two artists competed in an art contest. It ended in a draw.

5- Where are average items produced?
The Satisfactory.

6- I love telling terrible puns. That’s just how eye roll.

7- What should you do if your puppy feels unwell?
Take him to the dog-tor.

8- I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

9- What kind of music do mummies enjoy?
Wrap.

10- Where do fruits take their holidays?
Pear-is.

11- How many narcissists are required to screw in a light bulb?
One. The narcissist holds the bulb while the world revolves around them.

12- Dogs aren’t able to run MRI machines. But catscan.

13- How do you make a Robot angry?
Continuously press its buttons.

14- Where do penguins go to vote?
The North Poll.

15- What type of cats can bowl?
Alley cats.

16- I read that it’s a law to turn on your headlights when it rains in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining there?

17- Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?”
I burst into tears—he’s 11 and still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

18- Why did the coach visit the bank?
To get his quarterback.

19- Why do melons have wedding ceremonies?
Because they cantaloupe.

20- I was curious why the frisbee kept getting closer and closer. Then it hit me.

21- Why did the woman agree to a date with the mushroom?
Because he was a fun-ghi.

22- Why did the car get a flat tire?
Because it hit a fork in the road!

23- Why can’t leopards play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted.

24- Why did the man take his watch to the bank?
He wanted to save time.

25- Why shouldn’t pigs drive cars?
They hog the road.

26- What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I’m not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

27- Where do bad rainbows end up?
Prism, it’s a light sentence.

28- Why do dads bring an extra pair of socks when golfing?
In case they get a hole-in-one!

29- A turtle was crossing the road when two snails mugged him. When the police asked what happened, the shaken turtle said, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

30- Why don’t ants get sick?
They have tiny ant-bodies.

31- Why don’t pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
They just wash up on shore.

32- What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead!

33- What type of cars do eggs drive?
Yolkswagens.

34- How can you identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark.

35- I once dined at a fancy Italian restaurant. It cost a pretty penne.

36- Want to hear a construction joke?
I’m still working on it.

37- Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?
It was Chewie.

38- Where do birds stay when they travel?
At somewhere cheep.

39- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

40- How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

41- What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

42- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

43- Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.

44- What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.

45- How does a rabbi make coffee?
Hebrews it.

46- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

47- Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.

48- What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Dam.

49- What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.

50- What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.

51- I started a band called “1023MB.”
We’re good, but we still haven’t got a gig.

52- What do you call an American Bee?
A USBee.

53- Why is 10 also afraid?
Because it’s caught in the middle of 9 11.

54- How does an egg have fun??
He does a little kare-yolk-e!

55- Dogs can’t operate MRI machines…
But catscan

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The Scratch-Off Dad Jokes set is a hilarious way to add some fun to any day! With 40 extra cheesy, family-friendly jokes, this set offers endless laughs for everyone. Simply scratch off the punchline to reveal the humor, making it a great activity for the whole family to enjoy together.

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Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or just want to share some light-hearted fun, these dad jokes are sure to deliver. Perfect for anyone who loves cheesy humor, this set is a guaranteed way to bring smiles and laughter to any occasion. It also makes a fun and unique gift for anyone who enjoys a good laugh!

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Dad jokes are a unique brand of humor that can be both cringeworthy and hilarious at the same time. One liner dad jokes, in particular, have become a favorite of many who appreciate quick, witty humor. These one liner dad jokes often leave you rolling your eyes and groaning, but deep down, you can’t help but laugh. Today, we’ll take a look at some of the best one liner dad jokes that will make you want to hide your face and laugh.

These one liner dad jokes may make you cringe, but they are sure to bring a smile to your face. Whether you’re looking for a good laugh or just a way to break the ice, these one liner dad jokes are perfect for any occasion.

So the next time you need a pick-me-up or want to make someone laugh, remember these one liner dad jokes and let the good times roll!

1- “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”

2- “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”

3- When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.

4- “Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.”

5- “I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”

6- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet—I don’t know y.

7-“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

8- I just don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.

9- Dear Math, it’s time to grow up and solve your own problems.

10- Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed his space.

11- What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm.

12- Do you wanna box for your leftovers?
“No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.”

13- “I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”

14- What do you call bears with no ears?
B.

15- The first thing Santa’s elves learn in school is their elf-abet.

16- Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.

17- Two blood cells fell in love… but it was all in vein.

18- “A guy walks into a bar…and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”

19- I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

20- I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.

21- All vampires keep their money in a special place—the blood bank.

22- “I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”

23- “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”

24- Dogs can’t operate MRI machines but catscan.

25- “I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn’t concentrate.”

26- I have a fish that can breakdance. Only for ten seconds though, and only once.

27- What country’s capital is growing the fastest?
“Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.”

28- You can tell it’s a dogwood tree from its bark.

29- I’m worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.

30- “You think swimming with sharks is expensive?
Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.”

31- I can jump higher than a house… because houses can’t jump!

32- The pony couldn’t sing because it was a little horse.

33- “If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?”

34- “I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.”

35- “Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the ‘P’ is silent.””Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.”

36- “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”

37- What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

38- Did you know corduroy pillows are in style?
They’re making headlines.

39- I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it’s more of a wrap.

40- “I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

41-“Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”

42- I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but she said it’s just a bug that’s going around.

43- Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip?
I was heels over head!

44- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay, he woke up.

45- “You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”

46- The coach went to the bank to get his quarterback.

47- “That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted.”

48- “I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.”

49- Where there’s a will, there’s a relative.

50- RIP boiling water, you will be mist.

51 – Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.

52 – What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

53 – What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

54 – How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

55 – What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.

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Looking for a good laugh? Look no further than these 50 dad jokes that are sure to make you facepalm (and secretly laugh). From punny one-liners to corny dad jokes, these quips are guaranteed to elicit a groan and a chuckle. Get ready to roll your eyes and shake your head as you read through this collection of humorous gems. Just be warned: these dad jokes are so bad, they’re good.

Dad jokes are a special breed of humor, loved by some and groaned at by others. But love them or hate them, there’s no denying that they’re an essential part of dad humor. From puns and one-liners to cringe-worthy jokes, dad jokes are the perfect way for dads to bond with their kids and share a laugh.

There’s something about the predictability of dad jokes memes that makes them so endearing. You know the punchline is going to be terrible, but you can’t help but laugh anyway. Maybe it’s the way your dad delivers the joke with a straight face, or maybe it’s just the sheer ridiculousness of the joke itself.

No matter what the reason, dad jokes are a classic form of humor that will never go out of style. So the next time your dad tells a joke that makes you roll your eyes, remember that it’s all in good fun. After all, dad jokes are just another way for dads to show their love and make their kids smile.

1 – The bank keeps calling me to give me compliments. They say I have an “outstanding balance.”

2 – Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in?
He went to see Closed for the Winter.

3 – How does a penguin build his house?
Igloos it together.

4 – What did one plate say to another plate?
Tonight, dinner’s on me.

5 – I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.

6 – What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

7 – Why is cold water so insecure?
Because it’s never called hot.

8 – What kind of drink can be bitter and sweet?
Reali-tea.

9 – What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
Loafers.

10 – Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

11 – I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

12 – What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle?
They rose.

13 – What is the most popular fish in the ocean?
A starfish.

14 – Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.

15 – I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in tires and roll me down hills. Those were Goodyears.

16 – Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

17 – How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans.

18 – The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

19 – I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

20 – I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over people’s heads.

21 – Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter.

22 – Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling?

23 – What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forrest1

24 – Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.

25 – I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.

26 – What was Sherlock Holmes’ favorite protein source?
Mystery meat.

27 – I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.

28 – Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.

29 – What’s a writer’s favorite train station?
Penn Station.

30 – Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!

31 – Why couldn’t the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.

32 – If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?

33 – Why was the cow such a heartthrob on the farm?
He was a s-moo-th talker.

34 – A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

35 – Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards?
His kid asked him to sit on the deck.

36 – Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

37 – Did you hear about the surgeon who enjoyed performing quick surgeries on insects?
He did one on the fly.

38 – I have a clean conscious—it’s never been used.

39 – When does a joke become a “dad joke”?
When it becomes apparent.

40 – Two sheep walk into a—baaaa.

41 – Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.

42 – What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.

43 – Why was the ghost so tired?
He worked the graveyard shift.

44 – Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark?”
I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

45 – There’s only one thing I can’t deal with, and that’s a deck of cards glued together.

46 – I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.

47 – Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.

48 – Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner?
It was Chewie.

49 – What invention allows us to see through walls?
Windows.

50 – What state is known for its small drinks?
Minnesota.

51 – When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.

52 – Why was the tailor fired?
Because he wasn’t a good fit.

53 – What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.

54 – How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.

55 – Why was the computer wearing glasses?
Because it wanted to improve its website.

56- Why did the egg take a day off?
Because it was Friday

57- Why did the Rolling Stones stop playing music?
They reached the bottom of the hill.

58- Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

59- What has five toes but isn’t your foot?
My foot.

60- What is the best Gift? Broken drums!
You can’t beat them.

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Father’s Day is a special occasion dedicated to honoring the incredible dads in our lives. It’s a time when families come together to show appreciation and love for all the hard work and dedication our fathers put into raising us. While heartfelt gifts and heartfelt sentiments are undoubtedly essential, injecting some laughter into the celebration can make it even more memorable. That’s where Father’s Day Jokes come in – those wonderfully cheesy, pun-filled quips that often elicit eye rolls and groans from the audience. So, in honor of Father’s Day, here are some Father’s Day Jokes that are guaranteed to make the whole family chuckle.

Dad jokes have become a beloved tradition, passed down from one generation to the next. These lighthearted puns and one-liners have a way of bringing families closer, even if it’s through collective groaning. Father’s Day provides the perfect opportunity to unleash an arsenal of these cheesy Father’s Day Jokes and see who can elicit the most laughs or, in some cases, the most exaggerated eye rolls.

Dad jokes have a way of turning mundane situations into moments of hilarity. Whether it’s a simple play on words or a witty observation, these Father’s Day Jokes can transform an ordinary day into something extraordinary. One of the beautiful things about dad jokes is their universal appeal. They transcend generations and cultures, reminding us of the timeless joy of a well-timed pun.

Father’s Day is not just about showering our dads with love and appreciation but also about sharing moments of laughter and joy. Father’s Day Jokes provide the perfect avenue to infuse humor into the celebration, creating an atmosphere of shared merriment. So, on Father’s Day, don’t forget to gather around and indulge in some lighthearted puns and witty one-liners. Embrace the cheesiness, the groans, and the eye rolls, for these Father’s Day Jokes are the special ingredients that make the occasion memorable for the whole family. Happy Father’s Day!

Father’s Day Jokes

1- Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales?
… Because Fathers are priceless.

2- Why couldn’t the digital clock make dinner for Father’s Day?
… He had no hands.

3- What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

4- What did the waiter say to the daddy dog when he served Father’s Day dinner?
… Bone-appetit!

5- Knock knock… Who’s there?… Justin!… Justin who?
… Justin time to say Happy Father’s Day!

6- What are dads’ favorite Father’s Day treats?
POPsicles.

7- Why did the football coach go to the bank?
He wanted to get his quarter back.

8- What do hermit crabs do on Father’s Day?
Shellabrate their dads!

9- What did the buffalo say to his son as he walked out the door?
Bi-son.

10- Why do sons love Father’s Day so much?…
Because it’s always on son day (Sunday).

11- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Omelette… Omelette who?…
Omelette Daddy sleep in for Father’s Day.

12- What’s the best dad joke about pizza?
I can’t tell you, it’s just too cheesy.


13- When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.

14- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive who?…
Olive you Daddy!

15- What do you call a person who is not a dad who makes dad jokes?…
A Faux Pa.

16- Why was the father snowman so proud?
Because he heard his son was “flaking” out at school!

17- Why did the father ice cream cone get a cold?
He forgot to wear his cone-dom!


18- Why did the kids give their dad a blanket for Father’s Day?…
Because they thought he was the coolest dad.


19- Where do cows get their clothes?
From cattle-logs.

20- What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day?
… A bear hug.

21- Why did the father bird bring a stopwatch to the race?
He wanted to “tweet” his time!

22- What do you call a moose with no name?
Anonymoose.

23- What did the father volcano say to his son?
“I lava you!”

24- What did the cheerleader bring her dad for breakfast on Father’s Day?…
Cheerios.

25- Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales?…
Because Fathers are priceless.

26- How do trains eat?
They choo-choo.

27- Why don’t leopards play hide-and-go-seek?
They’re always spotted.

28- Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is!

29- Q: What happens when a painter gets cold?
A: They put on another coat.

30- I used to be afraid of hurdles. But I got over it.

31- What do you call a moose with no name?
Anonymoose.

32- Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?
… Noah good joke for Dad?

33- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?
… June know any Father’s Day Jokes?

34- What do nice pirates do on Father’s Day?
… Take out the garrrrrrrrrrrbage without being asked.

35- Why didn’t the sun go to college?
It already had a million degrees.

36- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Hop… Hop who?
… Hoppy Father’s Day!

37- What did the puppies make their dad for Father’s Day breakfast?
… Pooched eggs.

38- What did the father bee say to his son before going to work?
“Bee-hive yourself!”

39- How did the pig wake up his dad on Father’s Day?
Hogs and kisses.

40- Where do dads go to dance on Father’s Day?
Golf clubs.

41- What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?
One letter!

42- What’s the best thing a new dad can get for Father’s Day?
… A long nap.

43- Why did the father kangaroo always give great advice?
Because he had a lot of “hop”-tions!

44- Why wasn’t one Father’s Day gift better than the other?
It was a tie!

45- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Bacon… Bacon who?
… Bacon cake for Father’s Day.

46- Dad: “Hey babe, you smell that?”
Mom: “No.” Dad: “Me neither, start cooking.”

47- Child: “Dad, can we get a pet dog?”
Dad: “Why don’t you get a pet tree instead?”
Child: “Why would we get a pet tree?”
Dad: “It’s just like a pet dog, but the bark’s quieter.”

48- Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day?
… The moo-vies.

49- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Abby… Abby who?
… Abby Father’s Day!

50- What’s a dad’s favorite drink?
“POP”si!

51- Why did the dad join a orchestra?
Because he had the right key!

52- What did the father buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?
Bison.

53- Why did the dad sit on the clock?
He wanted to be on time!

54- What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire.

55-What did the digital clock say to its father?
“Look, Dad, no hands!”

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Looking for a quick chuckle mixed with a healthy dose of eye-rolling? Look no further than the realm of Dad Humor Jokes. These classic quips, known for their pun-tastic nature and groan-worthy punchlines, are a staple of dad humor everywhere. Whether you’re a dad yourself, have a dad, or simply appreciate a good (or should I say bad?) joke, these Dad Jokes are sure to elicit both eye-rolls and giggles in equal measure.

One-liner Dad jokes are like the fast food of comedy – quick, satisfying, and often leaving you with a mixture of regret and amusement. From puns that make you audibly groan to clever wordplay that sneaks up on you, Dad Humor Jokes cover a wide spectrum of humor that’s uniquely suited to fathers and father figures everywhere.

Many of these jokes have been lovingly collected from various sources, including the ever-popular subreddit “r/dadjokes,” where users share their best (or worst) Dad Jokes for all to enjoy. It’s a treasure trove of puns, wordplay, and humor that perfectly encapsulates the essence of Dad Humor. So, whether you’re in need of a quick laugh or just want to roll your eyes at some expertly crafted puns, dive into these Dad Humor Jokes and prepare for a mix of groans and giggles.

1. All I asked my son to do was to not use my whistle. But he blew it. – God-2008

2. To whoever stole my place in line at the grocery store….I’m after you now – God-2008

3. What do you call a criminal riding a donkey?
A bad ass driver. – TheQuietKid22

4. What’s deaths favorite time of day?
Mourning – God-2008

5. What do you call an attractive monster?
Pretty scary. – TheQuietKid22

6. My wife says I’m the most stubborn and strong-willed person she’s ever met…
But I refuse to accept that. – TheQuietKid22

7. I love the way the earth rotates
It makes my dayc – God-2008

8. It was so cold yesterday my computer froze.
It was my own fault though, I left too many windows open. – God-2008

9. Recently I watched the movie about the history of mathematics
A lot of positives and negatives – God-2008

10. What do you call a man who lost his phone?
You don’t call him – God-2008

11. I’m reading a book where the main character lost his spine
That’s his backstory – God-2008

12. I told a joke on a Zoom meeting and no one laughed
I guess I’m not remotely funny – God-2008

13. My dad always said he got his best sleep on public transportation
Great guy, terrible bus driver. – God-2008

14. Recently I bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer
I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day – God-2008

15. Did you hear about the man who only paid 5 cents for a prosthetic eye?
His name was Nikolai. – TheQuietKid22

16. What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi. – TheQuietKid22

17. I woke up to find my mustache was missing this morning.
Someone must have stolen it right under my nose. – TheQuietKid22

18. What do you get when you eat Uranium?
Atomic ache. – TheQuietKid22

19. What music do Bunnies listen to?
Hip hop. – TheQuietKid22

20. What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast. – thumbsup_baby

21. I used to work at a factory making plastic Draculas.
I was only one of two employees, so I had to make every second Count. – OctoberFire1

22. My wife didn’t believe me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta. – OctoberFire1

23. To the person who stole my Microsoft Office: I will not rest until I find you.
You have my Word. – OctoberFire1

24. I got mugged by six dwarves last night.
Not Happy. – OctoberFire1

25. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight. – OctoberFire1

26. Mr. T will never know what happened to his long lost brother…
Mr. E – OctoberFire1

27. A guy went to a costume party carrying a woman on his back…
Doorman asked. “What are you supposed to be?”,
“A turtle”
“What’s on your back?”
“That’s Michelle”. – OctoberFire1

28. I boiled my funny bone…
Now I have a laughing stock. – OctoberFire1

29. I told my therapist that everyone hates and dislikes me.
He replied…Dont be silly, everyone doesn’t know you! – berkleysquare

30. Why do Aliens always spill there coffee?
Because they drink from flying saucers. – berkleysquare

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The post 30 Dad Humor Jokes That Are Bound to Elicit Eye-Rolls and Giggles appeared first on Chameleon Memes.

Bad Dad Jokes are notorious for being corny, cheesy, and often downright cringe-worthy. They’re the kind of dad jokes that make you want to roll your eyes and walk away. But despite their questionable humor, bad dad jokes have become a staple of fatherhood.

Here are bad dad jokes that will make you want to leave the room:

1- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

2- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

3- Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos.

4- Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home?
Details are sketchy.

5- Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
He’s all right now!

6- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

7- What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto!

8- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

9- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?
He woke up.

10- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other ‘Does this taste funny to you?’

11- I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

12- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

13- Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case.

14- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.

15- Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread!

16- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

17- England doesn’t have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.

18- Why don’t scientists trust sea creatures?
Because they’re a little too shellfish.

19- What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!

20- I gave away all my used batteries today. Free of charge!

21- People are making apocalypse joke like there is no tomorrow!

22- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

23- Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s very time consuming.

24- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.

25- I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!

26- What did the police officer say to the belly button?
You’re under a vest!

27- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

28- Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.

29- Did you heard about the giant that threw up?
It’s all over town!

30- Did you hear about the girl who quit her job at the doughnut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.

31- Last night my wife and I watched two DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

32- What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time.

33- What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Damn!

34- Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said ‘You stay here, i’ll go on a head’.

35- I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant. But then I changed my mind.

36- A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: ‘sorry we don’t serve food here’

37- My cat was just sick on the carpet. I don’t think he’s feline well.

38- What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
Well, the flag is a big plus!

39- What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?
An Orca-stra!

40- What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

41- What did the mountain climber name his son?
Cliff

42- Why was the big cat disqualified from the race?
Because it was a cheetah!

43- Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.

44- What kind of magic do cows believe in?
Moodoo!

45- Why don’t you see penguins in the UK?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.

46- Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.

47- Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

48- I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.

49- Why don’t ants get sick?
They have tiny ant-bodies.

50- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

51- Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.

52- What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.

53- How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

54- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.

55- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.

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The post 55 Bad Dad Jokes That Will Make You Want to Leave the Room appeared first on Chameleon Memes.